3/8, 4/8 and…5/8 too?

There is no end to how elated I feel at all of this. It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m bragging if I speak about it so I’m just going to quietly report – on my blog, on the internet, the least quiet of all places, really – that I got into Suffolk University, Simmons College and Northeastern University.

*squeaks*

Note: I’m going to use */8 in titles now since, you know, rejections kind of minimize the number of possible places. The odds are pretty great.

2/9 & 3/9

The past week has been filled with ups. So much so that in the back of my mind I was afraid that any semblance of bad energy would make me crash.

Apparently not! Thursday morning, I found out I got into Emerson College – making it 2/9! – and this morning I found out I got rejected from Brandeis University! …again!

Which, you know, kind of really sucks. No one likes rejection. I certainly don’t. But in a way it’s a testament to how much I’ve grown as a person that I was able to collect myself with a few deep breaths, a shower and some good breakfast.

Now, apart from the obvious question which is what in the ever-loving cosmos does Brandeis  want from me I don’t really mind. I feel grounded. I feel more human and more…concerned with myself and my sole existence right now than I have in the past week which is a really good feeling. And as I sip tea – Peppermint and Eucalyptus, amazing combination – I think about the fact that, well, at least it’s not like last year. It’s not like “Oh, hey, how about we start you off with a nice, resounding rejection?” so kudos for that, o powers-that-be.

I think more than anything else, I’m just so relieved that my self-esteem doesn’t rely on rejections from schools I don’t even want to particularly attend. Granted, it does freak me out a little bit – what about Boston University? Literally you could reject me from any university except that one and I’d be okay. The Ivy Leagues were always a long shot, there were solid safeties, a couple of other schools here and there, but BU was always top priority. The past few sentences, by the way, are an example of digression.

I know this blog post is all over the place but it’s just something I need to get out. More than anything else it’s a reminder to myself that, hey, it’s all good. You’re all good. Everything’s fine. The world most certainly hasn’t ended.

And there’s five other universities to hear back from.

So as it stands, yeah, 2/3 isn’t so bad. Not bad at all. So the waiting game continues and the nail-biting goes on.

Next word: 20th March. Come at me, Suffolk.

1/9

I’ve been posting a lot of personal posts lately, I know. Nothing too hard hitting, nothing too jarring, but I guess that’s the nature of the phase of life I’m in. I’m restless, I can see the end just around the corner, and I want time to pass even faster than it is already. Of course, this is juxtaposed with a lot of sadness and melancholy. Again, nature of my life at the moment.

Yesterday, however, I received my first offer, from the University of Massachusetts (at Amherst!)…with a neat little merit scholarship to go with it. It was 3am, I was spouting philosophical, existential bullshit on twitter, and then I got the email. Emotions were felt, some of that restlessness was alleviated, then I fell asleep.

I woke up and the physical offer package was already there!

That’s when I realized how desperately I needed this reassurance. I was panicking. I know decisions aren’t due to start coming in until March or April, but the panic was definitely settling in. Last year was still heavy on my mind: rejections aren’t the best first decisions to come back to you, so even though UMass isn’t, in all honestly, my top choice, it is still a great school that thought I was good enough to be awarded a merit scholarship along with my offer…and I can’t tell you what a wonderful feeling it is.

My darling friend, Jem, verbalized the elation I was feeling: this is, at the very least, a confirmation that I will be going to America for college. Four years of hard work will be coming into fruition very soon in the form of offers – and maybe even more scholarships! Well. Let’s hope, anyway.

DISCLAIMER: I know university isn’t the most important thing in the world, and I most certainly agree that universities do not determine a person’s worth. It’s just that for me, personally, university is important because I have made it up to be so given my life goals and ambitions.

Also, this doesn’t count as a short note because this is another series of sorts – I’ve applied to nine universities, and with every offer or rejection, I’ll put up  a new post. I’ll be tagging them “?/9” just so you know! 🙂